Grief Is Not Only About Death: Understanding the Many Faces of Grief

When we hear the word grief, most of us think about the death of someone we love.

Bereavement is one of the most profound forms of grief, but it is not the only one. Grief can also follow a serious diagnosis, the loss of independence, a relationship breakdown, infertility, miscarriage, redundancy, retirement, disability, dementia, the death of a pet or the loss of a future we expected to have.
Sometimes a person is grieving long before anyone around them realises it.

Understanding the different faces of grief helps us recognise our own experiences and respond more thoughtfully when someone else is struggling.

Grief is the natural emotional response to losing someone or something important.

It may involve sadness, but grief is rarely limited to one emotion. A grieving person may also experience anger, confusion, guilt, anxiety, numbness, loneliness or even relief. These emotions can appear together, change from one day to the next or return unexpectedly after a period of feeling more settled.

Grief may also affect concentration, memory, sleep, appetite and physical energy. Tasks that once seemed simple can suddenly feel exhausting.

Healthdirect Australia confirms that grief can arise after death, divorce, serious illness, job loss and many other significant life changes. It also explains that grief affects each person differently, including how it is felt, expressed and managed.

There is no reliable formula for predicting how deeply someone will grieve based on how a loss appears from the outside.

A loss that seems minor to one person may represent the end of a relationship, identity, role, routine or future that mattered enormously to someone else.

NALAG Grief Support’s theme for Grief Awareness Month 2026 is Every Age. Every Loss. Every Story.

The theme recognises that grief changes throughout life.

A child may only partly understand what has happened and revisit the loss as they grow. A young adult may grieve while still developing their identity and imagining their future. Midlife can bring relationship changes, caring responsibilities, illness and the loss of roles that once helped define us.

Later life may involve several losses close together, including declining health, reduced independence, leaving a family home and the deaths of lifelong friends or a partner.

NALAG also reminds us that grief can arise when a person is still physically present but changing because of illness or dementia, or when the life someone expected no longer feels possible.

Grief is not reserved for one age group or one kind of event. It is part of being human, inconveniently universal as most human experiences tend to be.

People do not need to diagnose or label every emotional response they experience. However, knowing some common grief terms can help a person understand why they are feeling the way they do.

Anticipatory Grief

Anticipatory grief happens before an expected loss.

A person with a terminal or life-limiting illness may grieve the experiences, relationships and future events they expect to miss. Their family and friends may begin grieving changes in health, independence, communication or shared plans while the person is still alive.

Carers may grieve the gradual changes in their relationship as caring responsibilities increase.

Anticipatory grief does not mean someone has given up hope or stopped valuing the time they still have. Nor does grieving before a death necessarily make grief after the death easier.

Healthdirect describes anticipatory grief as feelings of grief or loss experienced before a loss occurs. These feelings can include sadness, anger, fear, guilt and anxiety about the future.

Ambiguous Grief and Loss

Ambiguous loss occurs when there is no clear ending or when a person is physically present but has changed psychologically, cognitively or emotionally.
It is often associated with dementia.

A partner, child or friend may still be able to see and spend time with the person they love, while also grieving changes in memory, personality, communication and the relationship they once shared.

The person living with dementia may also grieve the loss of abilities, independence, roles and plans for the future.

Dementia Australia explains that this grief can begin from the point of diagnosis. The losses may be difficult to discuss because they are not always obvious to other people.

Ambiguous loss can also occur following estrangement, disappearance, addiction or severe mental illness. There may be no funeral, farewell or socially recognised moment that marks what has been lost.

Disenfranchised Grief

Disenfranchised grief describes grief that is not fully recognised, acknowledged or supported by other people.

This can occur after:

• Miscarriage, stillbirth or infertility
• The death of a former partner
• The death of a pet
• Estrangement from a family member
• The loss of a relationship that was private or not socially recognised
• The death of someone following suicide, overdose or a stigmatised illness
• Job loss, retirement or financial hardship
• A change in health, fertility, identity or independence

People experiencing disenfranchised grief may hear comments suggesting they should not be so upset, should be grateful for what they still have or should have recovered by now.

This lack of recognition can leave a person feeling isolated and unable to speak openly about their loss. Grief Australia notes that disenfranchised grief can cause people to feel alone, unsupported or unable to share what they are experiencing.

A loss does not need public approval before it is allowed to hurt.

Cumulative Grief

Cumulative grief can occur when several losses happen within a relatively short period or before earlier grief has had time to settle.

A person may experience the death of a parent, the end of a relationship, a health diagnosis and the loss of employment within the same few years. Older people may face several deaths among friends, siblings and partners while also managing changes in health, housing and independence.

Carers can experience repeated losses as a loved one’s condition progresses.

Each new loss may reactivate earlier grief. The person may feel overwhelmed without being able to identify one single event as the cause.

Secondary Losses

One major loss often creates many additional losses.

After a death, a person may also lose:

• Companionship
• Financial stability
• Shared routines
• A home
• A social circle
• Practical help
• Future plans
• Their role as a partner, child or carer
• A sense of security or identity
• serious illness may lead to the loss of employment, independence, mobility, privacy or confidence in the future.

These secondary losses can continue appearing months or years after the original event. This is one reason grief rarely follows a neat timetable.

Grief is emotional, but its effects are not confined to emotions.

People may experience:

• Exhaustion
• Changes in sleep
• Loss of appetite or comfort eating
• Headaches or body aches
• Difficulty concentrating
• Forgetfulness
• Restlessness
• Reduced immunity
• Anxiety or low mood
• Withdrawal from people or usual activities

Healthdirect advises that grief can affect both physical and mental health. It may interfere with sleep, appetite, energy and a person’s ability to manage ordinary daily activities.

Research also shows that social support matters.

A study comparing large population-based bereavement surveys in Australia and Ireland found that between 20% and 30% of bereaved participants reported a worsening of their physical and mental health. About 30% felt that their support needs had not been met.

Those who felt they had not received enough support reported the greatest deterioration in wellbeing. Most people relied heavily on family members, friends and other informal sources of support.
This does not mean every grieving person needs professional counselling. It does mean that practical support, understanding and continued human connection can make a meaningful difference.

In 2024, 187,268 deaths were registered in Australia. More than two-thirds of those deaths involved people aged 75 or older. Each death may affect partners, children, relatives, friends, carers, colleagues and communities.

Most people gradually adapt to bereavement with the support of family, friends and their community. However, some people experience grief that remains severe, persistent and significantly interferes with daily life.

A systematic review and meta-analysis of 14 studies involving adults bereaved through non-violent deaths estimated the pooled prevalence of prolonged grief disorder at 9.8%, or approximately one in ten bereaved adults.

The researchers cautioned that the studies varied considerably and that the result should not be treated as a precise prediction for every population or every type of loss.

Intense grief soon after a major loss is not automatically prolonged grief disorder. Deep sadness, longing, anger and disruption can be normal responses to a life-changing event.

The concern is not simply whether grief has lasted a certain number of months. What matters is its intensity, whether it is easing at all and how severely it is affecting the person’s ability to function and live.

Some people cry openly. Others rarely cry.

Some need to talk repeatedly about what happened. Others process grief privately or through activity, faith, creativity, work or practical tasks.

A person may feel devastated one day and laugh with a friend the next. Feeling a moment of happiness does not mean the loss has been forgotten. Feeling relief after a difficult illness, caring period or troubled relationship does not mean the person did not love or value whoever or whatever was lost.

Grief often comes in waves. Birthdays, anniversaries, familiar music, smells, locations or ordinary routines can bring it back without warning.

There is no fixed deadline by which someone should be “over it”. People generally learn to live with and around a significant loss rather than erasing it from their lives.

Additional support may help when grief is:

• Making everyday responsibilities feel impossible
• Causing ongoing problems with sleep, eating or physical health
• Leading to heavy alcohol or drug use
• Creating severe isolation
• Continuing with little or no reduction in intensity
• Accompanied by persistent hopelessness or thoughts of self-harm
• Affecting relationships, employment or the ability to care for yourself or others

A GP can help assess whether grief, depression, anxiety, trauma or another condition may be contributing to what the person is experiencing.

Seeking support is not an admission that someone is grieving incorrectly. It simply means the weight has become too heavy to carry without assistance.

NALAG Grief Support

NALAG provides free grief and loss support across Australia for adults, children, families, groups and communities.

Support covers bereavement as well as separation, miscarriage, illness, disability, terminal diagnosis, pet loss and disasters. Telephone and online support are available, with face-to-face services offered in some NSW locations.

NALAG also provides free downloadable resources on topics including anticipatory grief, disenfranchised grief, pet loss, men’s grief, sudden death, later-life loss and helping someone who is grieving.

• NALAG Free Grief Support →
• NALAG Grief Resources and Fact Sheets →

Grief Awareness Month 2026

NALAG is holding Grief Awareness Month throughout August under the theme Every Age. Every Loss. Every Story.

The campaign includes free online workshops, educational resources and an awareness toolkit for communities, workplaces, schools and organisations. Workshop details are being added to the NALAG website during the month.

• NALAG Grief Awareness Month →

Healthdirect Australia

Healthdirect provides medically reviewed information about grief, its emotional and physical effects, ways to cope and when to seek further help.

• Healthdirect Australia, Grief and Loss  →
• Healthdirect Australia, Anticipatory Grief  →

Grief Australia

Grief Australia provides information sheets about bereavement and grief, including support for adolescents, grief that is not acknowledged by others and ways to support someone who is grieving.

• Grief Australia website  →

Dementia Australia

Dementia Australia provides information and support for people living with dementia, families and carers, including resources about ambiguous grief and the losses that may begin from the time of diagnosis.

• Dementia Australia website  →

Lifeline Immediate Crisis Support

For confidential crisis support at any time

• Phone 13 11 14
• Text 0477 13 11 14
• Lifeline Crisis Chat →

Recognising grief does not make it disappear. It does, however, give people permission to acknowledge what they have lost and seek the support they need.

It also helps families, friends and communities respond without judging the size, timing or legitimacy of someone else’s pain.

Grief may follow a death, but it can also begin with a diagnosis, a changed relationship, a lost future or a life that no longer looks the way someone expected.

Every age brings its own experiences of loss.

Every loss deserves understanding.

Every story matters.

Thoughtful end-of-life planning cannot prevent grief. It can, however, reduce some of the uncertainty and practical confusion families may otherwise face alongside it. Recording important information, wishes and responsibilities is not about expecting the worst. It is one way of caring for the people who may one day need to manage what we leave behind.

1. NALAG Grief Support, Grief Awareness Month 2026: Every Age. Every Loss. Every Story.
2. NALAG Grief Support, Free Loss and Grief Support.
3. Healthdirect Australia, Grief and Loss.
4. Healthdirect Australia, Understanding Anticipatory Grief.
5. Australian Institute of Health and Welfare, Deaths in Australia: Age at Death.
6. Aoun SM, Keegan O, Roberts A and Breen LJ, The Impact of Bereavement Support on Wellbeing: A Comparative Study Between Australia and Ireland, 2020.
7. Lundorff M, Holmgren H, Zachariae R, Farver-Vestergaard I and O’Connor M, Prevalence of Prolonged Grief Disorder in Adult Bereavement: A Systematic Review and Meta-analysis, 2017.
8. Grief Australia, Grieving When Your Loss Is Not Acknowledged by Others.
9. Dementia Australia, Growing Old Together Is Not Going to Happen as We Thought It Would.